Dating sounds like fun in theory, but the reality can be anything but. One of the items on the checklist is whether or not he’s been married before. Which is a better indication of long-term relationship potential?
There are three categories: widowed, divorced and never married. Your Mr. Forever could be any of those, but there are some things to consider.
The Lonely Widower
It’s easy to automatically empathize with a widower, especially if he’s raising children on his own. Even if they’re older, he may be struggling with college bills. He will probably be reluctant to involve a date in his personal life.
Many women are attracted to widowers because they feel that this is a man who was in a successful committed relationship. However, that does not mean that he is interested in or has time for another committed relationship. All he may really want is a nice evening out with a succession of dates. Of course, he may be looking for wife material.
The Divorced Man
The odds are about 50/50 that a man over 40 is divorced. Some women feel a divorced man is preferable because he proved that he was able to commit publicly to a relationship. Of course, being divorced is proof it didn’t last.
If someone has been divorced more than once, that’s a red flag. Each subsequent marriage has a greater likelihood of ending in divorce. Divorced men have baggage. If he complains a lot about his ex, that’s another red flag. Accepting some responsibility for the split is a sign of emotional maturity.
The Man Who Never Married
This man is the hero of most romance novels, unhappy until he finally found the right woman. Maybe. In real life, he could be a commitment-phobe or have issues that work against long-term relationships. Is he a control freak? Very bad sign. Some long-term singles are very self-involved. Does he have a sincere interest in you or does most of his conversation revolve around him?
The bottom line is that judging a potential relationship based upon one category is not ultimately helpful. People are individuals. Everyone has baggage, including you. Prejudging anyone based upon one fact may mean that you miss out on the best experience of your life.
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